Garanimals for Executives

I don't write about work here, use my real name, or get into stuff that can embarrass, endanger, or otherwise harm me. This is just a writing release/brain-dump kind of thing for me. My favorite topic here is the mundane, and I can't think of anything more boring than what I wear to work.

I remember for a brief time having "school clothes." I think this is a middle class phenomenon; my Mom bagged it after my folks split up, and my clothes were just my clothes, and school/play or work/non-work distinctions are hard for me to accommodate to this day. For example, it frustrates my wife when I mow the lawn or do a project that involves sawdust, paint, or time on my knees in my "good jeans." Mind you--I do all my own laundry! Still, the concept of "good jeans" is kind of lost of me. There are only two categories of jeans in my world: clean and dirty. Get me into the clean jeans, and I think I am doing pretty well.

Which brings me to Erik Satie. You see, I love the quirky piano compositions of Satie in all their brooding, contemplative hipness; that guy was about 50 years ahead of the rest of the world harmonically, and he had the super bizarre lifestyle to prove it. I've read in several places, and the link above has a version of this story too, that Satie purchased a set of identical suits. He wore the same suit over and over until it wore out and then started in on the next. He just really liked wearing the same thing all the time, and he apparently didn't get to the end of these suits before he died.

Which brings me to Fred Rogers. Mr Rogers is famous for his clothing routine, which framed his wonderful and important television program. It's widely known that his mother made the famous Cardigan sweaters that now hang in the Smithsonian. In addition to symbolically demonstrating that he was ready to put the "adult world" on hold for a little while, Mr. Rogers' exercise of removing his sportcoat and dress shoes gave him some needed stage business as he prepared to explore some new ideas with his viewers.

Which brings me to anti-utopian novels. My first serious paper for high school analyzed three dystopian works of fiction: 1984, We, and Brave New World. I had planned to incoroporate a couple of other novels I enjoyed (A Clockwork Orange, Farenheit 451) but I ran out of time and it was only 10th grade. At any rate, while I knew these were not positive visions of the future meant to be modeled, part of the 16 year old me longed for a world like that in 1984 where I was not burdened with the personal choice of what to wear. Just make me wear coveralls like Winston Smith, and I will be perfectly happy, thought I.

And now I am back...

Garanimals for Executives

As a faculty member, I quickly became aware that I could basically wear whatever I wanted. For my first three years, I wore hand-me down suits from my Dad. I mostly did this because I was a very young looking 25 year old. I did not take observations to that effect as compliments (though many people told me that one day I would). I needed to look like the teacher to be treated like one. By the time I was 28 or so, I had tenure and people have made the amusing observation that this is when I started wearing whatever I felt like to work and teach. Then I assumed a leadership role at about age 30 that made me re-consider what I'd wear to campus each day. Meetings with college executives required at least my "button down shirt/no sneakers" dress code; formal presentations, a coat and tie. Jeans and sneakers were acceptable most days.

But that's way too much mental energy! What about a meeting the crops up? An off-campus visit to somewhere important? Get asked at the last minute to attend the Board meeting? For a few years I kept a blue blazer hanging in the office for these occasions. But a single blue blazer won't cut it for my new job and the multi-year "re-branding" I need to do to my appearance.

So, flash forward to now, and my current dress code. I hobbled around on my own dressing for work for the first month of my new job until my wife took me out to lunch to inform me that I needed to "step it up a notch" as she said. That's when we developed the "system" I now have, the one I loving refer to in my head as Garanimals for Executives.

I can't claim total ownership of the phrase. My sister had a great business idea in the early 90s for an updated version of the Garanimals product model, this time aimed at 20-something guys. It was called Garanimals for Guys. I see now that Garanimals is back, having re-launched in 2008.

So, if you didn't grow up in the 70s, you might not know what Garanimals were/are. That means you probably aren't familiar with Toughskins, either. The idea behind Garanimals is a kind of paint-by-number approach to dressing oneself; matching tags help fashion-challenged kids make proper coordination choices. This is perfect for people who don't know or don't care (I often fit into both categories) what to wear. My wife helped me put together a fairly dummy-proof wardrobe that gets me to the office looking like something other than the "rumpled poet" I was accused of being by a neat nick roommate back in college.

My wardrobe consists of:

• Black/brown dress shoes (worn only at work).
• Black/brown belts.
• 6 pair of dress slacks (50% grey/dark; 50% earth/light)
• Several non-white solid dress shirts (current favorites are purple, green, dark blue, light blue, buff, etc.)
• Ties (often the ones that come in the box with the shirts--they match and do just fine).
• 6 jackets: various grey, blue, hounds tooth, etc.

I start with shoes. Black shoes require black belt. Black shoes/belt means no brown slacks or jacket. Brown shoes/belt means no dark slacks or jacket. Apart from that, no decisions to make. I am dressed and done.

It's liberating to not worry about what I am wearing at work. The funny thing is that these formal clothes are almost as comfortable as pajamas! It's even more comfortable than jeans and t-shirts! Plus, it feels more formal.

Last note, and this ties back to Mr. Rogers. I have developed a Fred Rogerseque routine with these clothes. I come in and work standing up at my workstation for about 40 minutes; I immediately remove my jacket. When I sit down, I roll up my sleeves, which stay that way for most of the day. For meetings, I will roll down the sleeves and put on the jacket. Otherwise, the jacket stays off until the end of the day. That way I am fairly formal on the entrance/exit from work.

I love to write about stuff that doesn't matter. This helps me--it has kept me from boring someone with all this crap in a real conversation.